this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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