exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
