hell yes lets make some ravioli
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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