I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
