that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Randomize
