yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
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