found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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