You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
