I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
