I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
