New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
