I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
