I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize