His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
