Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
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