the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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