Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
