i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
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