There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
