New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
