if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
