my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
