yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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