So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Randomize
