she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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