so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Randomize
