Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
