IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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