i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
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