that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
