"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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