I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Randomize
