Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
