I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
