morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
