I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
