Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Randomize
