Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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