i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Randomize
