my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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