I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
