I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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