we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Randomize
