that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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