it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
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