Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
