we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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