Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Randomize
