I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
