Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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