What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
You are the jesus of drinking
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize