I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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