wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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