my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
i want to swaddle you in tequila
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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