i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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