shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
As shirtless as possible
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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