Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
