I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
