Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
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