Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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