i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Randomize