you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Randomize
