covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Randomize