I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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