You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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