This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
