i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
